What Will Your Family Say After Your Gone?

When it is your time to go what do you think will be said about you? Were you kind, loving, giving or were you bitter and cold and nobody can stand? Do you care?

When my mom passed in 2000 it was such a devastating thing for me she was the absolute best friend a girl could have she was kind and loving the life of the party everyone wanted to be around her.

So many were touched by her life and she is still remembered and talked about to this day by everyone who knew her.

I have often wondered who’ll come to my funeral when my life here is over. Will those who do show up have good things to say or will their silence tell a different story?

I will have no chance to control what’s said when the time comes but I can do something about it while I’m still here by the way I choose to live my life.

Will I leave friends and family with good memories? I guess that’s up to me and the choices I make every day of my life.

I wonder if I’m making a enough contributions in the world to make even a small difference. Will anyone one other than those close to me miss me? Did I do anything worth remembering or being thankful that I was once alive? Am I making a difference through my work and through the the volunteer tasks I undertake?

I was saddened to read the following obituary for a lady who died earlier this month.

Dolores Aguilar
1929 - Aug. 7, 2008
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

Is this sad or what to think someone could have been such a bitter sole that even her own children could write such a devastatingly horrible obituary about her.

It so horrible that I did check on snopes to make sure this was for real and not a joke.

So in keeping with yesterdays post here. Will you be remembered as bucket filler or a bucket dipper?

Family Friday! The Family That Plays Together Stays Together

Are a Bucket Filler Or A Bucket Dipper?

I just found this wonderful blog We are That Family and she was talking about a new program her kids school is using this year. She said they have deemed themselves a " Bucket Filling School".

It's based on this award-winning book: Have You Filled A Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids, by Carol McCloud.

Basically, everyone has an invisible bucket. Our buckets are filled with words and actions.

It makes people happy to have their bucket filled with good things, like compliments, happy thoughts and kindness.

But if you are unkind in your actions or words, you are a bucket-dipper. Bucket dippers aren't exactly celebrated.

This is such a great program. I actually had heard of this idea in a book I had to read for work called Monday Morning Leadership, which is a excellent book BTW. It never dawned on me at the time I was reading the book what a wonderful lesson this would be for children.

I love that it has biblical concept and it can also impact your children as home as well as school. Kristen from We are That Family says it has been a wonderful impact on her children. She says every once in a while from the playroom she can hear "You just filled my bucket, thanks!" or "That hurt my feelings, you bucket-dipper!"

Everyone has a bucket. What are you filling it with?

If you'd like to participate in Family Friday with me:

1. Write your own post on your blog about anything to do with spending time with your family, it can be things your family does, tips on family time, ideas for family time, creating family memories for your kids etc.
   
2. include a link in your post, when the graphic is finished I will get that up and running.
   
3. come back and sign in with Mr. Linky, linking to your specific post (not just to your blog), so we know you're participating!

Also over @ Pippin Party's blog she is hosting a contest to win this ebook so head over a sign up!

Wanna Know How God Felt Giving Up His Only Son?

I am trying to decide whether I want to continue with Tantalizing Thursday or not. I am slowly going to make some subtle changes this maybe the first we will see.

But in the meantime when I was dropping last night @ This Side Of Eternity she had this video and she warned her visitors that she was quite a mess for a while after watching this video.

Well she was right. If you have children this will pull at your heartstrings! The first time I watched I really didn't get where it was leading till almost the end and then Bam! There it is! This is powerful!

Weird! Wednesdays

Today is the first day for Weird! Wednesdays a weekly meme hosted by Sweet Mummy @ It's Ok To Be Weird!


I thought this picture would qualify!
You might be a redneck if....



Do you think this high rise is owned by Donald Trump's brother Ronald Slump? Just a thought!

Tidbit Tuesday

Well it is Kindergarten craze here on the homefront. He started yesterday and I almost missed the big day! I knew I was meeting with his teacher at 10 but was not aware that it was the first day until I was leaving for a prior appointment and I seen the streets were filled with kids and backpacks. I pulled to a mom and ask some question and went into full on panic!

You never seen a woman move so fast in your life. I got that car around the block and in the drive, jumped out ran to phone the school to become the first official nutcase mom of the new school year. So here is how the conversation went...

Me:
Hi my son is a Kindergartner this year and I for some reason I thought they did not start till Thursday. I just found out the first day is today ( school starts at 8:30 for Kindergarten and this is 9:40 at the time of this conversation) have I just ruined my son most memorable day of school that a mom can have?

The school secretary:
( Laughing hysterically) what is your child name and teacher? No you are fine just relax, we will see you in a bit.

She had to find out my childs name so now they can know I am the crazy loon! Thank goodness I had everything all ready to go so it was not a total disaster. But dear lord how could I have messed up such a important day!

So here is some pictures of his first day



If you can see well enough in picture 3 that his eyebrow is now scarred for life from showing his Karate moves to the sitters son and losing his balance and landing on the corner of the entertainment center. BTW he doesn't even take Karate!!!

So I know this is Tidbit Tuesday but I had to interrupt regularly scheduled programing for this important (to me anyway) service announcement.

Be sure and stop by Melinda Zook and see what she has going on for Tidbit Tuesday today.

Make It Yourself Monday

Basic Melt and Pour Soap

Basic Materials

1

You can melt the base in a double boiler or the microwave. If you choose the microwave, make sure you cover the bowl you are melting the melt and pour (MP) with Saran Wrap to keep the excess moisture from evaporating out. Simply melt the base on high for one minute and stir the remaining, unmelted pieces in. If you use a double-boiler, simply bring the water to boil, add your melt and pour, cover, turn the heat on low and walk away. Check on the base periodically to see it it's melted. Add fragrance

2	If you add fragrance oil, add it after the base is fully melted. Stir until the fragrance is fully incorporated and the base doesn't look "cloudy." Start with .25 ounce per pound of base and work up or down from there. You can also use essential oils. Stir in colorant

3

If you wish to add colorant, add the color when the base is melting. Just throw in 1/8 teaspoon to 1/4 teaspoon mica with the melting base and stir it in really well. Spray any "mica bubbles" that form on the top with rubbing alcohol. To use food coloring, simply put in 1 drop at a time to your melted base and color to preference. Too much can stain hands and towels, so be careful! Pour into mold

4	Pour into your molds - and spray the top with rubbing alcohol to get rid of any excess bubbles. Spray with rubbing alcohol

5	Use and enjoy once the soap is hard - which takes a few hours.

The finished product - a beautifully handcrafted bar of soap!

Family Friday! The Family That Plays Together Stays Together

I thought this video as short as it maybe totally embodies what Family Friday is all about. It is tearjerker though so have a tissue ready!

So I am officially making Family Friday a weekly theme thanks to Sweet Mummy @ Its OK to be WEIRD who set everything up with Mr. Linky. We are still working on the graphic so as soon as it is finished I will get the code up.

If you'd like to participate in Family Friday with me:

1. Write your own post on your blog about anything to do with spending time with your family, it can be things your family does, tips on family time, ideas for family time, creating family memories for your kids etc.
   
2. include a link in your post, when the graphic is finished I will get that up and running.
   
3. come back and sign in with Mr. Linky, linking to your specific post (not just to your blog), so we know you're participating!

Were You Aware Of A "Hidden Curriculum" At Your Childs School?

My son will be starting Kindergarten next Thursday so I have been reading up on different blogs about "The First Day" and so forth and I ran upon an article from White Trash Mom

I found it to be interesting. Now I would think this would be very easy to do anyway if you would an active parent in your child's school which is a real goal of mine. But I know sometimes that is not always possible. So now you got a heads up as to how thing work behind the scenes.

Letter to Kindergarten Moms from White Trash Mom

My friend Erin and Jenny both had children that started Kindergarten in the last few days. Kindergarten is big for parents because it's a milestone that officially says your child is no longer a "pre-schooler", you are the parent of a "school-age" kid from now on.

The Kindergarten milestone undid me because it made me realize just how much of my daughter's life I had been working full time+ and how I could not get that time back. My mother was ill at the same time my oldest daughter started Kindergarten so it was a very emotional year for me, mom passed away when Grace was in Kindergarten, so it was a year of me talking about motherhood and resolving to do it differently.

Anyway, I've been meaning to send my "Kindergarten" moms a note or email this week but naturally, since I am a WT mom, I haven't done it yet. But here are a few tips to help guide you through the early part of this transitional time. You'll live but it's pretty scary when you send your oldest one to Kindergarten for the first time. Here are some quick guidelines to read before the ice cream social or parent coffee meeting:

1.Once your kids are in "real" school, you need to bring a little more to the game of parenting.

It used to be that moms dropped off their kids and that was it. In today's world of high powered parenting, you need to have a healthy perspective BUT you also must realize that working with the school community is like a new part of your parenting job. Look at it as a new requirement for your degree as a "mom".

2.Do your homework on the teachers, school community----as you would a new job or class.
I was a C+ student. For example, I got better grades by doing "re-con" on various college classes and teachers to find out:

• Who graded easy on tests?
• Which classes had Friday's off?
• Is it possible to sleep in class?

Once your kids are in school, you need to approach your new parenting requirements with the zeal of a C+ student. Finding out the "lay of the land" from other parents will help YOU help your CHILD.

3.Real science stuff, not just WT Mom proof in my advice=Hidden Curriculum

Richard Lavoie is a very smart educator who introduced me to the concept of the "Hidden Curriculum". It sounds very sinister but it's not. It's just a philosophy based on a very key research study about school communities. "Hidden Curriculum" is the idea that the UNWRITTEN RULES AND NORMS of a school community are even more powerful than the WRITTEN rules and norms for the school community. The biggest difference in your job as a parent with a school age child is to find out the "HC" and then help your child navigate the waters of the school community.

Part 2 of this post is later today. I must go up to the elementary school, taking my youngest daughter and friend to see who their teachers are for next year. Note: This is a perfect example of the "HC"----the school ice cream social is this evening, the event that is supposed to be when all the teachers are announced to kids. In reality, the school posts the class lists in the afternoon, hours before the ice cream event, so all the families go an peek at the list early. No one ever wrote this down, it's just what is done.

Let's be careful out there campers! Good LUCK!

Just a note I remember it is Tantalizing Thursday. I will post it later today I have a job interview at 2 will be back.

What's Your Opinion on Blog Commenting?

So one of my BFF bloggy friends Melinda Zook who is also the creator of Tidbit Tuesday has called upon a few of us to help her gather some info.

She is trying to find out what people really want when it comes to blog commenting.

So she has recruited few of us to answer these question as honestly as we can then see how many of you would be so kind as to leave a comment with your opinions on it as well.

So here are my answers.....

1. How many blogs do you comment on each week?
About 15-20.

2. Do you comment on the same blogs routinely?
I do have some that I do try to comment on regularly. Then as I do my Entrecard drops I read and if I feel I have something to say I leave a comment. I hate to be a drop and go, I only do that if I am behind.

3. Do you comment just to comment or do you comment with the expectations that the blog owner will visit your blog as well?
I comment just to comment. I never want anyone to think I am just trying to get a return comment or visit. Not to say I do not like people to come and visit my blog and leave comments. I LOVE comments. But I want people to be commenting because you found the post interesting not out of obligation.

4. How would you like the blog owner to respond to your comment, if at all?
Unless it is something that is just a light post or picture that you are just leaving a brief comment about I love to hear a response from the blog owner. I almost always go back on my next visit to see if they have responded. But I do not get upset if they do not, I know we all have busy lives and sometimes do not always have time to respond.

5. How many comments would you say you got (on average) in your last 5 posts? Only about 3-4.

6. Do you respond to your comments?
Yes it may not always be the same day because of time but I try to always go back and comment.

7. How do you respond, within that post or via email or some other way?
Within the post.

8. [If you don't respond to comments] N/A

So what is your response to these questions? Please comment and let me know.

Tidbit Tuesday

For today's tidbit I have a couple of some awesome places to listen to music for free online. I love to listen to music while I am cleaning especially.
The first one is really an awesome site. It is called Slackers
I listened to it during the writing of this post it has a great variety. This one is a must check out.

Here is a few other pretty good ones...
FreeKidsMusic.com
christianmpfree.com
ilovewavs.com
www.rhapsody.com


I hope you find some that you can enjoy with your family. Don't forget to pop over and see Melinda Zook today and she what she has for us today!

Make It Yourself Monday

CD Case Mini Album

When I came across this creative reuse of a cd case over at Stamps, Paper, Scissors I thought it would be a great gift giving idea. It would be a great for wedding or a shower favors.
It would also be a very cute project for your kiddos that is not to complex and would be a cute something for grandma and grandpa to add to the top of a gift or as a cute display for the first day of school photo for your Kindergartner that we all love to capture.
The possibilities with this are many.

Supplies Needed:

1 CD or Jewel Case
1 piece of double sided card stock 5-1/4" x 4-3/4"
1 piece of double sided card stock 5" x 4-3/4"
2 pieces of scrapbook paper (1 for photo matting, 1 for accordion book matting) 4/1/2 x 4-1/2"
2 pieces of solid card stock measuring 4" x 12"
1 piece of solid card stock measuring 4" x 8"
3 pieces of scrapbook paper 1-1/2" x 4" (2 are for the hinges)
1 piece coordinating scrapbook paper 3-3/4" x 3-3/4"
Small piece of cord or ribbon
Embellishments




Directions:

Adhere the double sided card stock papers to the inside of the jewel case using a clear adhesive such as Crystal Effects.



Adhere scrapbook paper for photo matting to inside front and back covers.



Score solid card stock at 4 and 8 inches on the 4 x 12" sheets and at 4 inches on the 4 x 8" sheet. Fold these pieces at the score lines. Adhere one of the 12 x 8 pieces to center of the mat backing with the fold on the adhered piece on the left side.



Adhere 4 x 8" piece to the top of the piece already attached, lining it up so that the edge of the new piece is in line with the fold of the first piece. Janine's diagram comes in real handy here!



Adhere last 8 x 12" piece in the same manner.



Score two of the 4 x 1-1/2" sheets in the middle lengthwise. Adhere these to the accordion edges. Adhere the last 4 x 1-1/2" piece to the front of accordion.



Adhere a ribbon or cord loop and adhere to right side of front accordion. Adhere 3-3/4 x 3-3/4" piece of scrapbook paper over ribbon and on front of accordion.



Embellish cover as desired. Fill with photos. Keep for yourself or give as a gift!

What's Going On In My World?

I cannot help but wondering what is going on in my world right now. I am just a little beside myself you see because on Wednesday I went to work to find out that I am on paid suspension. I was told that I would stay in this status until the board has met and my boss said he was going to recommend termination. This came as quite a shock to me because I take my job seriously and do my best to abide by all the rules and standards. Besides the fact that I am a Christian,single mom, and have worked hard to get to where I am. I would never do anything to intentionally jeopardized my position. But unfortunately for me and the other person involved a perfectly innocent situation has been made to look intentional by 2 other parties for their gain and because we are friendly and talk often there is not much hope of this being a good ending. She has been terminated already.

So I might be out of work for a while which scares me. Now is not the time to be looking for a job. Any prayers on a good turn out either way would be greatly appreciated.

Family Friday! The Family That Plays Together Stays Together

Family Day And Family Meetings

A Rewarding Routine...

Last year, my family (my wife and I and our six kids) began a tradition that is one of the best things we’ve ever done: every Saturday we have a family meeting, and every Sunday is Family Day. We’ve become so much closer as a family as a result, and I highly recommend it for families of any size.

Before Family Days, our weekends were filled with soccer games, errands, and many family parties. Our kids would spend the night with friends or relatives, and it was hard to find good chunks of time to spend together, as a family.

Then we had a breakthrough: we created Family Day, every Sunday, and had a rule: our kids could spend the night elsewhere on Friday nights, and we could go to family gatherings and other functions on Saturdays, but Sundays became sacred. It was reserved only for us, the eight of us, to do stuff together.

Then we had another idea, almost simultaneously: we created family meetings, usually held on Saturdays, but sometimes on Sunday mornings, where we would all sit around the living room and discuss things as a family, and plan family day. It’s a really fun and uniting activity that we all look forward to. Let me explain these two ideas a little more.

Family Meetings

We call the family meeting to order, usually on Saturday afternoons, and we all gather in the living room. We get out our family notebook, which has a record of each family meeting, among other things. And we take turns being Leader and Secretary (the person who takes notes for that meeting) — parents and kids (the four older ones) all participate in the rotation for these two positions.

1. The Leader starts every meeting with compliments. We each say a compliment about another family member. This is a nice way to show that we appreciate each other, and a good exercise to think about other family members and the good things they’ve done.
   
2. Next is Issues: the Leader asks if anyone has any issues to discuss. These can be things like, People need to put the toilet seat down, to things like, how we’re going to try to be more frugal this Christmas, to things like suggesting that we all volunteer at the local homeless soup kitchen. The issues are discussed by the whole family, and it helps smooth out any problems that come up during the week.
   
3. Third on the agenda is Family Day – what do we want to do on Family Day? Each person comes up with a suggestion, and after that, we decide by a process of consensus (not majority rules). That means that we kind of poll everyone to see what they want, and narrow it down to one or two or three options. Sometimes we’ll decided to do three or four things on Family Day. But everyone has to agree to the decision — if someone doesn’t agree, then we have to find a compromise or an alternate solution that makes everyone happy.
   
4. Last is the Fun Thing. The Leader gets to choose a fun thing to do to end the family meeting. This can be anything from taking turns adding to a short story, and then reading out the wacky short story that results, or an obstacle course race, or a scavenger hunt, or many other things like that.
   

   Family Day
   We’ve done many things on Family day, but no matter what it is, we always have a blast together. Our latest idea is to have a Family Day jar, and add $10 or $20 to it each week. Then, each Family Day, we can decide whether to spend it that weekend or let it save up for a bigger event.

   Here are some of the activities we like to do on Family Day:

Whatever you do on Family Day, if you use this idea, you’ll LOVE it. Try it out!

Board games: we like to play Risk, or Sorry, or Yahtzee, or bingo, or Clue.

Sports: we go outside and play games like kickball or soccer.

Book store: we enjoy going to the local used bookstore.

Restaurants: we’ve started a thing where we go to different restaurants each time, trying out new restaurants as we go along instead of just going to the same ones.

Movie night: we like to rent a dvd and have dinner while watching the movie together in the living room.

Sunset dinner: we pack or buy a dinner and take it to the beach to watch the sunset.

Movie night: we like to rent a dvd and have dinner while watching the movie together in the living room.

Waterpark: this is the most expensive option, but a favorite. We spend the entire day at the waterpark and come home exhausted.

By: ZenHabits.net

Now This Is My Kinda Home!

While browsing blogs I came across My Romantic Home. Cindy is a woman after my own heart her home is beautifully and tastefully done in Shabby Chic style!

Mine is a work in progress since I recently moved so for now I have to lust after the beauty of others fabulous homes.

She made her first video letting us have a peek into her world. Which I thought was a great first video very professional looking, the reason I love a mac.

Be sure to check her site My Romantic Home for more Shabby Chic Goodness!

Make It Yourself Monday

Paper Organizer For The Kitchen

This is a very easy project that and very cheap for all the frugalites out there. Rhonda from Home With A Smile gives you the dirt on how to put this together. I think this is such a cute and practical project. It could also be dressed up to be more fancy.

I do this with different little boxes and such that I use in my office. I am always on the look out for pink girly things to decorate with and it is hard to find things and if you do most times they are hot pink. So I had found some different box styles that I liked and would work for what I needed and I just decoupaged pretty fabrics on them to match my other things. It looks nice and no one ever knows that they are not store bought. I am ask all the time where did I find my cute office organizers. Once I am back in normal routines at work I will try to post some pics to give you some ideas for your offices.

I belong to a few discussion - friendship groups on Yahoogroups.com. On one of the lists geared toward homemaking, we talked about recycling trash into useful home items. I told them about this organizer I made years ago and Tracey want to see pictures. It is a very low-cost craft. Start with a large flat style Priority Mail carton. Cut it diagonally through the middle and seal the ends. Glue the 2 box pieces together and that will be the base.
Side view
Cover the outside (I used fabric)

Cover the inside (I used scrap book paper)

Put 4 feet on the bottom (I used wood door handles)

Now, you are ready to organize your papers!

Need Help Keeping Track Of Every Ones Chores?

I found a cool site that helps you keep track of your families chores!

Does one or more of these things apply to you?

• I often need to remind people to do their fair share
• My children/spouse/roommate and I argue about doing chores
• Sometimes I forget what needs doing until it is too late
• I feel flustered and don't have enough time to organize

ChoreBuster can help you with all of these problems by automatically creating a fair chore chart or schedule for you and others that you live with!


Here is a Demo of how it works here