Family Friday! The Family That Plays Together Stays Together

How to teach kids about the importance of family

by Gool Bugwadia

There's nothing more nourishing to one's soul than one's family. Family is the "root" of all that is good in our lives. It is the backbone of our successes in the adult years. The role families play today, are challenged by the changing family patterns in the twenty-first century. However, when parents create the right environment and right combination of simple basics, the family continues to exert a powerful lifelong impact on the children.

Parent's have the unique opportunity to teach their kids the importance and immense value of being an integral part of strong families. Parents can light up and inspire their family with passion, motivation and shared goals. They can cultivate and nurture their family like a garden with tender, loving care. The combination of time, effort and involvement can all go into teaching kids the importance of keeping the family fires glowing.

Here are some of the ways parents can follow to stress the importance of the family to their kids:-

* Setting good examples:

Parents by their own good example can demonstrate to their kids how important the family is to them by putting their family first in all aspects of their lives. They need to demonstrate acts of love and kindness; of thinking fairly and selflessly at all times. They need to respect each child's individuality and give their kids freedom to develop his/her potential to the fullest extent without any undue pressure or suffocating supervision. They need to build up their child's self-esteem with large doses of encouragement.

* Creating a sense of belonging:

Family is the child's first experience at being a member of a social group. It is vital for every member in the family to feel and believe he/she is valuable and respected. This helps to create a sense of belonging. Every child needs to believe that he/she is a contributing member in the family and that others in the family likewise contribute to his/her welfare. By being closely involved in kid's lives, parents can influence their kids to building and maintaining closer family ties.

* Loving unconditionally:

Love is the vital ingredient; the strong foundation on which a child's character can be built. By manifesting unconditional love and trust, parents can infuse feelings of personal worth. Starting a child's day with bouts of encouragement and love and ending it likewise, helps in building the child's self-esteem. Hugs can do a great amount of good, especially in younger children.

This sets a positive chain reaction benefiting the entire family while helping kids to bind closer to each other.

* Spending time together:

Family togetherness in all areas and at every stage of development is beneficial to all its members. Family activities teach life-long lessons. Doing things together, like bowling, biking, hiking; planning family picnics and vacations create some of the most cherished memories. Taking kids camping or a visit to the zoo, museums and theatres, teach children the joys of sharing and giving. Family times spent together eating, reading, singing, dancing, or helping each other in homework and chores around the house, teaches kids the lasting benefits of helping each other in the spirit of true comradeship. By participating in these family activities, children quickly learn all aspects of social inter-action which will have a tremendous impact on how the siblings will behave with each other as adults in later years.

* Communicating family values:

Parents can incorporate the essential values of life into the family lifestyle based on precepts and examples. Character is built by having a good moral compass. By combining faith, hope and love, parents can communicate family values to their kids and raise respectful kids. By setting high standards of behavior, parents can help kids to be meaningful members of the family and the society.

* Family Traditions:

Meaningful family traditions help kids to enjoy a sense of connectivity especially on special Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Most families make it a tradition to enjoy doing the same special thing each year like a traditional Thanksgiving dinner at Grandparents home or the entire family getting together for Christmas. The essence is in the celebration of family togetherness wherein a child learns the skill of developing a full range of unique individuality traits within the sanctity of the family unit. This is a good time to give opportunities to kids to relate to their extended family members like grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousinswhich helps kids to feel proud of their family traditions and cultural heritage.

* In closing

Active parenting is not a burden; it is a reward. What we teach our children is never wasted. Family, is where the diverse chapters of our children's lives, unfold. Ups and downs, crisis and jubilation, tears and laughter, success and failure, all go into the making of family history. The memories created, tie up together to create a lasting impression while teaching our kids the great importance of family.

Were You Aware Of A "Hidden Curriculum" At Your Childs School?

My son will be starting Kindergarten next Thursday so I have been reading up on different blogs about "The First Day" and so forth and I ran upon an article from White Trash Mom

I found it to be interesting. Now I would think this would be very easy to do anyway if you would an active parent in your child's school which is a real goal of mine. But I know sometimes that is not always possible. So now you got a heads up as to how thing work behind the scenes.

Letter to Kindergarten Moms from White Trash Mom

My friend Erin and Jenny both had children that started Kindergarten in the last few days. Kindergarten is big for parents because it's a milestone that officially says your child is no longer a "pre-schooler", you are the parent of a "school-age" kid from now on.

The Kindergarten milestone undid me because it made me realize just how much of my daughter's life I had been working full time+ and how I could not get that time back. My mother was ill at the same time my oldest daughter started Kindergarten so it was a very emotional year for me, mom passed away when Grace was in Kindergarten, so it was a year of me talking about motherhood and resolving to do it differently.

Anyway, I've been meaning to send my "Kindergarten" moms a note or email this week but naturally, since I am a WT mom, I haven't done it yet. But here are a few tips to help guide you through the early part of this transitional time. You'll live but it's pretty scary when you send your oldest one to Kindergarten for the first time. Here are some quick guidelines to read before the ice cream social or parent coffee meeting:

1.Once your kids are in "real" school, you need to bring a little more to the game of parenting.

It used to be that moms dropped off their kids and that was it. In today's world of high powered parenting, you need to have a healthy perspective BUT you also must realize that working with the school community is like a new part of your parenting job. Look at it as a new requirement for your degree as a "mom".

2.Do your homework on the teachers, school community----as you would a new job or class.
I was a C+ student. For example, I got better grades by doing "re-con" on various college classes and teachers to find out:

• Who graded easy on tests?
• Which classes had Friday's off?
• Is it possible to sleep in class?

Once your kids are in school, you need to approach your new parenting requirements with the zeal of a C+ student. Finding out the "lay of the land" from other parents will help YOU help your CHILD.

3.Real science stuff, not just WT Mom proof in my advice=Hidden Curriculum

Richard Lavoie is a very smart educator who introduced me to the concept of the "Hidden Curriculum". It sounds very sinister but it's not. It's just a philosophy based on a very key research study about school communities. "Hidden Curriculum" is the idea that the UNWRITTEN RULES AND NORMS of a school community are even more powerful than the WRITTEN rules and norms for the school community. The biggest difference in your job as a parent with a school age child is to find out the "HC" and then help your child navigate the waters of the school community.

Part 2 of this post is later today. I must go up to the elementary school, taking my youngest daughter and friend to see who their teachers are for next year. Note: This is a perfect example of the "HC"----the school ice cream social is this evening, the event that is supposed to be when all the teachers are announced to kids. In reality, the school posts the class lists in the afternoon, hours before the ice cream event, so all the families go an peek at the list early. No one ever wrote this down, it's just what is done.

Let's be careful out there campers! Good LUCK!

Just a note I remember it is Tantalizing Thursday. I will post it later today I have a job interview at 2 will be back.

BATTLING THE BACK–TO–SCHOOL BLUES

Parents can make the first days of school fun rather than frustrating

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Too frequently, children begin the school year unprepared to succeed, quickly experience frustration and failure, and get turned–off to learning. However, kids can love instead of loath the first days of school; they just need a little help from mom and dad. Here’s how:

Tip #1: Give your children the gift of chores

Children who regularly do chores at home find it much easier to do assignments at school. Why? Both schoolwork and chores require perseverance, delayed gratification, and attention to detail. When parents expect chores to be done without reminders and without pay, children also learn how to work independently and to enjoy the intrinsic rewards of accomplishment.

Tip #2: In a loving way, hold your children accountable for their chores

Parents who nag and remind their children to do chores raise kids who expect their teachers to nag and remind them to do assignments. These children don’t do well in school. Smarter parents ask their children to do their chores, bite their tongues, and let empathy and consequences do the teaching. Why empathy? When parents deliver sincere doses of empathy or sadness before describing consequences, their children learn responsibility rather than resentment. A parent might say:

How sad… I love you so much, but you forgot to clean your bathroom today. Now I don’t have the energy to take you swimming. This really stinks.

Tip #3: Limit television, videos, video games, and other "entertaining" activities

Children who are used to being entertained during the summer by fast-paced TV shows, movies, games, and trips to the amusement park go into shock when they enter the classroom. Before long, they begin to complain about how "boring" their teachers are and how much they dislike school. Love and Logic parents help their children transition back to school by making their homes so "boring" that their kids can’t wait to be back in class!

Tip #4: Have fun with reading and writing

During the first week of school, teachers can always tell the difference between the children who’ve been read to during the summer and those who have not. Spend at least 20 minutes per day reading with your kids. Experiment with reading one page, asking your child to read the next, and alternating back and forth. Writing is important too! Experiment with having your child spend the two weeks prior to the start of school making and writing cards for friends and relatives. Your child’s writing skills will grow… and so will these relationships!

With these practical tips , you can give your kids an advantage in school that will last for months, years, and a lifetime! Parents around the world have benefited from the power of these four down-to-earth tips. Now it’s your turn to give your kids the head start they deserve!

By Dr. Charles Fay

Family Friday! The Family That Plays Together Stays Together

Whoo Hoo, It's Friday!

I thought this was a great article on addressing values with your children. Today it seems more and more that values are falling to the wayside. It is up to us as parents to make sure that our children have a good value base instilled in them. In my opinion with out this they have nothing.

Besides the fact that is good practice for us as adults to keep ourselves in check.

GIVE YOUR CHILDREN THE VALUES THEY DESERVE

Parents can combat societal pressures with the right approach

Peers, TV shows, movies, magazines…With so many external pressures facing kids at younger and younger ages, parents often wonder:

How can I get my children to listen to me…instead of the ‘cool’ kids at school?

How do I teach my child the importance of hard work, honesty, and humility?

How can I reach them when they get so many messages that seem to say, "Who you are is not as important as how good you look, and how many toys you have?"

There is hope. Using the following tips, parents can have a much stronger influence than any friend or TV commercial:

Tip #1: Instead of telling your kids how to live, show them

Wise parents commit lots of honest, respectful, kind, and responsible acts in front of their kids. Simply stated, actions speak louder than words.

The next time another driver cuts you off or someone in your neighborhood needs help, treat the situation as an important opportunity to show your children how responsible, caring adults act.

Tip #2: Talk about your values when they’re eavesdropping

What we say in front of our kids is more important than what we say to them. When you do something great, talk about it within earshot of your kids. For example, when your child is sitting nearby, you might say to your spouse, "Honey, the clerk at the store gave me ten dollars too much in change. I could have kept it, but I gave it back. I always feel better when I do the right thing!"

Tip #3: Teach character and responsibility with empathy and consequences.

The most effective parents allow children to make mistakes in safe situations. Kids develop character and positive values when they learn that poor decisions result in uncomfortable consequences.

Parents who deliver consequences with anger raise kids who spend their lives feeling angry and who reject their parents’ values. If those same parents replace anger with empathy, their children begin to see them as caring and recognize their values are important.

By Dr. Charles Fay

Family Friday! A Family That Plays Together Stays Together

MANNERS MATTER!

I think a lot of parents have forgotten that manners are a important part of training a child for adulthood. I found this great tips to help get the job done.

In all parts of their lives, children with great manners have a powerful advantage over those who do not. They make friends easier, get along better with their teachers, and eventually make much better employees and spouses. Here are four techniques that will give your child this life-long gift:

Tip No. 1: Make a list

Sit down with your kids and make a list of the specific behaviors polite people display. Have fun with this activity. Your written list might look something like:

• Say "please" and "thank you"
• Eat with their mouths closed
• Burp in the privacy of their own rooms
• Say "excuse me"
• Hold doors open for people

Tip No. 2: Model these manners

Children learn much more from our actions than from our words

Tip No. 3: Provide kids what they want only when they use manners

When parents use Love and Logic, they don’t waste their breath lecturing about good manners. Instead, they very politely refuse to provide what their kids want unless they hear a sweet "please" or "thank you" and see the other behaviors on their "manner list."

For this to work, parents must respond to requests with polite sadness instead of anger or sarcasm. For example, a parent might say in a sad tone of voice, "This is such a bummer. We can’t go to the movies today because you need more practice with manners first."

A parent who sets this limit, avoids anger or sarcasm, and holds firm by staying home will see a very upset child in the short-term and a much happier, more responsible one in the long-term.

Tip No. 4: Expect them to repay you for any embarrassment they cause

If your child continues to be rude, he or she may need to repay you for the embarrassment or inconvenience created. With genuine empathy and sadness, a parent might say, "How sad! Your rudeness at Aunt Mary’s house really drained the energy out of me. I’ve been too tired to clean the bathrooms. When you get them done, I’m sure I’ll feel a whole lot better."

If the child refuses or forgets to do the chore, wise parents don’t lecture or threaten. Instead, they quietly allow their child to "pay" for their bad manners with one of their favorite toys.

Thousands of parents have transformed manner monsters into polite kids who are a pleasure to be around.

By Dr. Charles Fay

How to Get Your Toddler to Do Just About Anything You Want

With some easy–to–learn tips , parents can get their young children to brush their teeth, pick up their toys, use the potty, or just about anything else. How?

I witnessed some clues, watching a three–year–old, picking up trash in a large auditorium. My audience had left for lunch. I stayed behind to marvel at this tiny dynamo. Toddling from isle to isle, he picked up empty coffee cups, gum wrappers, scraps of paper, and other refuse.

How could such a small child be motivated to work so hard?

The answer walked just a few steps ahead. There she was…his wonderful and wise grandma, smiling back at him as they worked together. Grandma volunteered in that auditorium almost every day, making it gleam for all to enjoy. Most days, little Cory came along to "help… for an hour or two.

Grandma learned long ago that little kids want to be big like their parents. She also learned that little kids who have fun doing …big people chores… with their parents and grandparents grow into teenagers and adults who don’t bicker and complain about helping around the house.

While Grandma never studied the research on modeling, she …knew… that kids are much more likely to copy adults who are:

Loving

Kids copy the people they love and respect.

Patient

When parents show impatience, anger, or frustration because their little children are moving too slow or making mistakes, they destroy the natural love of helping.

Powerful

Kids copy people they view as caring yet strong. Parents who set firm–yet–loving limits have youngsters who become firm–yet–loving adults.

Seen by the child as being rewarded by the behavior performed

While no one was handing Grandma goodies for tidying the room, she was smiling and saying things like, "This is so much fun! I love cleaning. It makes me feel so proud!"

Grandma was rewarding herself, and her little grandson was soaking it up too.

Less than perfect but always improving

The key is to show your kids that you are always learning from your mistakes.

Never underestimate the power of modeling.

by Dr. Charles Fay

Raise Great Employees

It's getting harder to find good, responsible employees. While a problem for employers, this provides a great opportunity for parents! If we can teach the following skills and attitudes, we can practically guarantee that our youngsters will become financially secure adults:

• The ability to complete tasks without reminders



• The desire to be proud of one's work



• Knowing how to cooperate and compromise



• The self-discipline to complete boring, tedious tasks



• Being able to creatively solve new and unique problems



• The ability to learn from one's mistakes

The single most important thing we can do to help our kids develop these skills is to expect them to complete chores without reminders and without pay.

• Instead of saying, "Take out the trash, now!" try giving your child a deadline, "Just have the trash taken out by six o’clock."



• This deadline gives you plenty of time to think about what you will do if your child forgets or refuses to do the chore.



• Resist the urge to nag and remind.



• If your child forgets or refuses to do the chore, do it for them.



• With great empathy, provide a consequence. "This is so sad. I did your chores. How are you planning to pay me?"



• Your child can pay by doing extra chores, staying home instead of being driven somewhere they want to go, giving you a toy, etc.

Dr. Charles Fay

Family Friday, A Family That Plays Together Stays Together!

Family Bonding... The Little Things in Life That Make All the Difference


So many people go through life not knowing where they belong, not knowing where their place in life is. There are ways to help prevent things life this from happening.

Self-esteem is a person's main belief about themselves. A person's self-esteem is based on their actions, both as how as well as what he or she does. Although self-esteem varies from time to time, the pattern usually leans toward a healthy or unhealthy view of self. With healthy self-esteem, a person is more likely to succeed in life.

The Best feeling in the world is being able to go to a place where you can call home. A place where you feel like you belong, a place where no one can hurt you, a place where you can learn something new each day from the ones who love you the most.

By making the effort to communicate with the members of our family, we know that we are loved and respected and that we belong. Each person in your family needs to:

Show your love to each family member...

Let the members in you family know you love them for who he or she is, not for what he or she does. Make it a habit to show your love for your family members in at least two ways each day.

Make a contentious effort to let the members of your family know that he or she is special ...

List at least three good qualities of each family member and post them on your refrigerator. Add to these qualities from time to time. And it doesn't hurt to tell each other how wonderful they are.

Praise each other...

Make positive comments about each other. It may not hurt to tell dad that you missed him or how good mom's cooking is. Notice the positive qualities in each other and try to not focus on the negative qualities. Listen to the members in your family just don't let it go in one ear and come out the other.When someone in your family shares something with you, give that person your undivided attention and listen carefully. Don't give advice unless asked for it.

Have family times...

Have regular times for the family to have fun together, such as playing board or card games. Try to have as many family meals together as possible. Don't discuss problems or concerns during these times unless it is absolutely necessary.

Encourage Family Bonding...

Look for activities with the whole family can bond together and spend special moments together where everyone can feel close, a feeling of acceptance, and unconditional love from the people who mean the most in their lives.

Remember, without love there is no healing. With Love, healing is foreseeable. Having a family can be a fulfilling and an exciting experience. Our family life is an important part of our life. How we treat each other and the respect we give each other will affect our relationship with that person and could affect how that person feels about themselves.

Families grow and change over time, so it's important that we have the skills to be remaining close to each other able to keep our family relationships happy and healthy.

Potty Training Doesn't Have to Be a Pain!

Potty training doesn't have to be a frustrating experience for either you or your child. Listed below are some quick guidelines:

• Little children copy what they see their parents doing. That’s why it's so important to let your tots see you using the potty…and having a good time doing so. (While this may be a bit embarrassing for some, the results are well worth the discomfort.)



• Offer lots of choices. For example, "Do you want to use the upstairs potty or downstairs potty?" "Do you want to bring your favorite toy or leave it in your room?" The more small choices we give, the less resistant our kids will be.



• Remain calm and empathetic when accidents happen. Punishment never works when it comes to potty training.



• Allow your child to train at their own pace. Some kids are ready before they are two years old; others aren't ready until they are around four. When we try to force the issue before our children are ready, frustration is all we will achieve.

Family Friday, A Family That Plays Together Stays Together!

One thing I am passionate about is the family. In the fast paced world we live in so many have lost sight of how important family is in our lives. We are so caught up in our daily grind that we don't take time for proper family bonding. Long gone are family dinners around the table talking and sharing about each others day, playing games,etc...

Now days is it very plain to see that family bonding has gone to the whey side. Family bonding is many things in one. Not only does it create memories for your kids to cherish, but it is also a time of learning. Back in the day when parents spent quality time with their kids it was rare to find kids that weren't respectful and caring.

Life is to short and the world is to crazy to put your family on the back burner! As parent we all know how fast the time flies, one minute your are bringing them home from the hospital and the next they are graduating college. Make the most of the short time you have them all to yourself. Take time to teach them, enjoy them, and create memories with them that will last a lifetime.


Although I do have fond memories of my childhood and I had wonderful loving nurturing parents, we did not do alot to create wonderful memories. My mom was not a big picture taker, we did not take family vacations, we just lived our life. Now that my parents have passed I do not have a lot of memories to hash over in my mind to remember happy times.

So when I became a parent that was something that I really wanted to change for my kids. So I am going to start "Family Friday! The Family That Plays Together Stays Together!"

Each Friday I will be bringing you tips and ideas to help you create a stronger family unit and hopefully create some great memories as well.

I will also highlight other bloggers who have a post on their blog each Friday. So if you want to participate, simply comment below and I will find you and highlight your post in that week's Family Friday. I will be working this week on a image for Family Friday's that I will have if you would like to participate weekly with me.

So with all that said. Here is our first Family Friday! I hope you enjoy. With summer coming on I thought this was a excellent article to kick off summer and Family Friday.

Making Family Memories

Ten ways to reconnect with your school age children before the school year begins

By Harriet Meyerson

“How could the summer have gone so fast,” you may be wondering, “I haven't even had time to do anything special with my kids. They're growing up so fast, I hardly know them.” Wake up! The end of the summer is almost here, and school is just around the corner for your children, with homework, sports, youth groups, and many other time consuming activities stealing their time from family togetherness.

Spending Too Little Time

Many parents, trying to juggle work, housekeeping, and their own personal lives feel guilty that they don't spend enough time with their kids. Children grow up so fast that parents can easily miss the joys of really connecting with them. Even more important, children need to feel that their parents are approachable when they face peer pressure and have to make difficult choices. While it's true that peer pressure from your children's friends is very powerful, loving parents who take the time to stay connected with their children can exert a powerful influence and make all the difference.

How to Reconnect

So what can you do that will help you reconnect with your children? Having fun together breaks down barriers and strengthens the bond between parents and children. Here are some end of the summer activities to create those important connections as well as fond memories. You might want to have a camera handy to capture some of these precious moments.

1. Picnic in the country and stargazing.

Drive out to a park in the country away from the city lights. Take a large blanket, mosquito repellent and flashlights. As you and your children gather together on a blanket in the country and gaze at the stars, the things that are really important in life come into perspective.

Discuss nature's built-in intelligence in plants and animals as well as the earth, moon, and stars. Relate that to the intelligence your children have within them to do well at school.

2. Proclaim a "Goofy Day"

Everybody needs to act silly and let off some steam once in a while. Here's an activity that you might even want to videotape. Everyone in your family dresses goofy, does goofy things, and eats goofy food. Discuss how there are times and places that it is appropriate to be goofy, and relate this to behavior at school.

3. Creative story time

Sit in a circle with your family. You start the first story. Then each person adds a few sentences using their imagination to take the story wherever they want it to go. Keep going around the circle until one person decides to end the story. Then the next person starts a new story. Creative snacks will help spark the imagination. Discuss how we create our own life stories with the actions we take every day.

4. Family slumber party

Remember when you were a kid and went to slumber parties. Well, why should you be left out of the fun just because you're an adult? This slumber party is for parents and their children - no friends invited. Everybody takes their bedding and sleeps on the floor in the living room.

Here are three things to do at your slumber party. • Story telling - talk about the old days when you were young, or have everybody take turns talking about their favorite family vacation. • Sing favorite songs - everyone has a chance to choose a song for the whole family to sing. • Summer vacation memories - everyone takes turns talking about what they liked best about the summer. Your children may be asked this very question the first day back at school, anyway, so this will help prepare them. Great snacks that aren't too messy will combine to make this a memorable time.

5. Planning session

For starters, have your husband and children help you bake some delicious chocolate chip cookies. The cookies, together with milk and ice cream will be their post-planning session treat.

During the planning session ask each family member what is important to him or her. Then discuss chores, homework time, TV limitations, bedtime, after school activities, allowance, etc. Get everyone's agreement on the rules, and post the rules on a bulletin board or refrigerator for everyone to see. Written rules have more impact. Agree to meet again a week after school starts to see if some adjustments need to be made. You might want to have a weekly or monthly family planning session. Of course, more cookies will have to be baked.

6. Family softball game

This is great family fun for all ages. Use a plastic bat and ball if you have younger children. Your family is obviously too small to have two teams, so create your own softball rules. You can follow up with a backyard barbeque.

7. Gratitude Party

In our materialistic world your children may want the things that other children have. If you only tell your children that they can't have everything, they may feel angry and deprived. When you teach your children to be grateful for what they already have their attitude will change from one of entitlement and anger to one of appreciation and happiness.

Sit down with your family, and together write a list of at least 100 things you can be grateful for. You may have to walk around the house to notice many of the things you have. Post your family gratitude list where everyone can see it. Discuss jealousy of others and appreciating the many things we have. End by asking each person in the family to create their own prayer of thankfulness.

8. Family jig saw puzzle

You can choose a puzzle with 100 pieces if you want to get done in an afternoon, or a larger one, and work on it for a week. You will need a large table and special glue for jug saw puzzles available at craft stores. You can then frame your puzzle and hang it in a place of honor. Discuss teamwork and patience.

9. Family game night

Board games are not only fun; you can also learn a lot about your children from the way they play board games. You can play Monopoly with children and watch the way they negotiate properties. You can see how competitive they are and if they are good sports. Discuss the importance of having fun and good sportsmanship.

10. One-on-one special times.

Each child needs and deserves to feel special to his or her parents. This can be accomplished when each parent has a special, one on one, time with each child. For example Sunday afternoons can be the time that you block out for your special times. Then rotate this time between your children. Both you and your child plan what you are going to do ahead of time so you can both look forward to your special time together. You'll get to know each child better and your children will love doing something special with Mom or Dad.

Now that you are ready to reconnect with your children before the hectic school year begins, remember, just as a flower needs water more than once, your children need these types of activities frequently to feel connected to you. Take time out during the school year as well, and continue to create warm and bonding family memories.

Be Careful About Taking Away What Your Kids Need the Most

When we've got a seriously underachieving youngster, it's awfully tempting to resort to taking away all sorts of things in a desperate attempt to motivate them to do their schoolwork. Sadly, this often backfires, leading the child to become even more resistant about learning.

Most of us wouldn't feel that motivated if our spouse said, "Ok, that's it! No more golf [or whatever else we might love to do] until I start getting some better reports from your boss!"

While it's entirely reasonable to set some limits on TV, video games, and other entertainment activities when kids are doing poorly in school, taking them out of their favorite sport, Boy Scouts, music lessons, etc. is a bad idea. The research is clear on this:

Children who are involved in a healthy extracurricular activity are far less likely to get involved in drugs, sex, gangs, and other high-risk activities.

Kids who are struggling in school need at least one natural high…so that they aren't so tempted by various artificial ones.

Some Thoughts on Video and Computer Games

Over the past two decades, video and computer games have become dramatically more fast-paced, realistic, and stimulating. Not long after their introduction, I began to suspect that these games had the same addictive potential as drugs, alcohol, and gambling. Today, family therapists and researchers have confirmed my fears. Listed below are some tips for helping your child avoid getting hooked:

• Don't allow your child to have a computer in their room.


• Allow them to play these games no longer than thirty minutes per day.


• If your child becomes sneaky, noncompliant, or defiant about this time limit, remove this privilege.


• Children birth to six should spend no time playing these games, watching videos, or viewing television.


• So-called "educational" games, videos, and shows are no substitute for real-life learning activities, involving movement, problem-solving, and human relationships.

Table Manners for Toddlers

Things Your Child Should Never Do at the Table

Begin as you mean to go on! Teach your toddler to never:

• Begin eating until everyone has been served.
• Lick the knife! Sharp objects should never be put in the mouth, not to mention that Band-Aids don’t do well on the tongue.
• Lean back on a chair’s hind legs.
• Speak with food in his mouth.
• Chew with her mouth open. In addition, don’t chew noisily.
• Put more in his mouth than he can chew. Small bites should be encouraged. In addition, food should never be shoveled.
• Interrupt others when they are talking.
• Point utensils at others.
• Leave the chair out when he gets up. It should always be pushed in when he steps away from the table.
• Take the last bit of food without first offering it to others at the table.
• Talk about gross or gossipy subjects.
• Get up until everyone else is finished eating.
• Put elbows on the table. After all, Mae West once said, “Keep all uncooked joints off the table.”

Dining Faux Pas
Here are just a few of the many dining dos you should begin teaching your child:

• Your napkin should be placed on the lap when you sit down. It is unfolded on your lap, not above the table. If someone inadvertently took your napkin, don’t shout, “Who took my napkin?” Quietly ask for another. Many parents ask if it is okay to tuck in their child’s napkin into the collar to prevent spillage onto clothes. You may do so if your child is 5 or younger.
• Feet should be flat on the floor (if they reach) and have your back against the chair…good posture!
• Hold the glass with two hands if necessary. If the glasses are more formal, small hands can hold the stem to prevent tipping or dropping.
• If a bread basket or other food item is passed to you, remember to continue passing to the right. If the dish is closest to you before you begin passing, offer it to the person to your left and then pass to the right.
• If you must sneeze or cough, turn your head toward your shoulder and cover your mouth with your napkin or hand (preferably your napkin).
• Always wipe your mouth with your napkin before taking a sip. Greasy lips leave an unpleasant and unappetizing ring on the glass.
• If you must use the bathroom, simply say, “excuse me” and get up. If there are guests at the table, you need not let everyone know where you are going.
• Get in and out of your chair on the right side.

Saying Grace
Your toddler may or may not be familiar with the custom of saying grace. Explain to your child that other families may give thanks before a meal. It may be something simple like, “Lord, thank you for the food we are about to receive. Amen.” Or it may be a song that is sung by all at the table. No matter how a family handles grace, anything new to a child can be intimidating. You can prepare your child to handle it like a pro by instructing them to follow what others are doing. They need not say anything, but by bowing their heads and closing their eyes during grace, they are showing respect.

If you are having a child over for dinner and your family says grace, you should tell the child’s parent ahead of time (unless, of course, they already know). The other parent can then talk to their child about it, so they are not surprised and confused. Giving a parent the heads up is simply a matter of courtesy!

Gulp … Drinks!
Toddlers love to assert their independence and are big advocates of the “I can do it myself” mentality. When it comes to drinks, there a few etiquette dos and don’ts that should be enforced.

First, your child should not reach in front of or across others to get a drink. Rather, they should politely ask for a drink (remembering their please and thank you). If the juice container or pitcher is too heavy or awkward, they should use two hands to pour. One hand should hold the handle, while the other supports the side of the container. Remind your child that it is okay to ask for help when pouring a drink.

Slurping and gulping is quite unpleasant (and unappetizing) at the table. Remind your child to drink quietly and slowly. They should swallow any food in their mouth and wipe their lips with their napkin before taking a sip. Of course, if your toddler has something spicy or hot in their mouth, a quick sip is necessary and acceptable. As your child gets older and masters the art of pouring, they can begin to ask those to the right and left of them if they too would like a drink.

As your child gets older and masters these skills, you can incorporate more dining etiquette into their routine. Practice makes perfect… well, if not perfect, at least pleasantly pleasing to dine with!

By Melissa Leonard

10 Important Tips To Keeping Your Kids Safe On The Online

Before I begin my post, this post will be as a entry for a in a contest at Happy Family Matters

This post is from there with a few comment added from me. It is worth your time to go check out his blog there is some great articles on everything from parenting to marriage. You will not be disappointed.

In keeping with the theme of my last post of monitoring your child's computer activities. I came across 2 great post over @ Happy Family Matters that every parent should read.

Look at these statistics...

* 70 percent (70%) of all 15-17 year-olds who have ever gone online have accidentally stumbled across pornography online, 23 percent "very" or "somewhat" often. (Kaiser Family Foundation study, 2001)

* 20 percent (20%) of children ages 10-17 have received a sexual solicitation over the Internet. (The Web's Dark Secret; Newsweek, 19 March, 2001)

This one really floors me!

* 43 percent (43%) of children said they do not have rules about Internet use in their homes. (Time/CNN Poll, 2000)

* 17 percent of parents believe their children are posting online profiles, as compared to 45 percent of children who report doing this. (Internet Safety for Kids; Protocol Analysis Institute)

The Internet is brimming with pornography, gambling and even predators on the Internet.

After seeing the stats parent need to open their eyes. You may have great kids but they are still have human curiosities and influences from peers and friends.

There is a website that is tried and tested. The website is http://www.k9webprotection.com/. I do not need to discuss the details here because it is very user-friendly and by the way, it is FREE. However, you might be confused on the sudden effect on the blogs (even on your own blog) because it immediately hides some social bookmarking widgets. But you can modify the filter setting anytime. It depends on you.

Here are some additional tips he gave...

1. Explain them to your children and its bad effect if they see them. However, you have to use the right words which will depend on their age.

2. I have been saying this repeatedly, but I have to say it again. Be the role model. Do not open these sites with adult content in front of your children. But if you really cannot help yourself in doing so, open them only if you are alone, and be sure you close them properly so that there will be a minimal chance that your child will surf on it.

3. Monitor your child’s attitude, words and actions very closely. These bad influences will manifest in them eventually. If you smell something fishy, do not approach your child at once because the more you do it, the more he will be interested in doing it. The best thing to do is to find ways to keep them away from your child’s eyes.

4. Pornography is not the only bad influence your children must not see. Illegal drugs, gambling, and violence are among them, too. But you will not be on a 24-7 basis to watch over your child so you should have detection-and-hide tools in your PC.

5. Do not allow your children to play on-line computer games especially when they are just renting somewhere. Not only that it is addictive but they will think that violence is just a game. These games are for adults only.

6. If they have to do some research for their homework, join them while they are browsing in front of the PC. If you are not available, ask a trusted adult to watch over them. It is better if you require your child to inform you in advance so that you can adjust your schedule.

7. Provide passwords on your PC so that you can be sure they cannot use it without your consent. Change them regularly because your child might learn about them.

8. Do not expose your child’s photos, real name and other personal information anywhere on the net, especially if your child blogs . Devils on line are just waiting for a chance to catch their prey.

9. Place your PC where you can easily see what is on the screen. The best location is the living room, rather than in a closed room.

10.If you think you are not capable to monitor your child’s activities while he/she is on line, do not allow him/her at all. Require your child to wait for the right time.

So parent please protect your children before it is to late.

What Are Your Thoughts On Adolences Having A MySpace Account?

I was very disturbed and disheartened by this video. So I was curious to find out how parent feel about their kids having MySpace accounts.

As I was driving to work yesterday they were talking about the incident ( Shown Above) that just happen on MySpace where the cheerleaders beat the soup out of another girl for posting things about them on her MySpace page.

In my opinion if you are under 18 you should not be allowed to have a account with MySpace. I have heard so many reports of these kind of things going on everyday. Less than a year ago here in St. Louis, a young girl killed herself because of something a person had posted on MySpace.

Now I understand that this site has some great things to help people get the word out to others about their music or hobby. Thats fine even if it is children as long as the parent is in control of the page.

What is this world coming to when one of the parent of the girls says basically she should not have wrote it if she could not take what was coming next. Are we not supposed to be the ones to teach our kids life lessons? What life lesson do you think her daughter learned? I hope to watch hear back in the shower of her jail cell.

Now I am not trying to down anyone who lets there child have a MySpace account. All I am saying is you got to be involved in your child's life. Check the site site regularly. No matter how responsible your child is they are still a child and can make mistakes.

I know we get caught up in life but these kids are our flesh and blood, they are supposed to be our tomorrow. What kind of a tomorrow do they have to look forward to with kids like this? Don't let your child be one of these.

Would Your Toddler Know How To Save Themselves From Drowning?

Method for Toddlers to Save Themselves from Drowning

With summer coming on I thought this would be something worth checking out if your a parent of a toddler.

( from this website)

Children See Children Do

I was sent this video and felt it was definitely something worth your time to watch. Please share with others.