Saturday, August 30, 2008

What Will Your Family Say After Your Gone?

When it is your time to go what do you think will be said about you? Were you kind, loving, giving or were you bitter and cold and nobody can stand? Do you care?

When my mom passed in 2000 it was such a devastating thing for me she was the absolute best friend a girl could have she was kind and loving the life of the party everyone wanted to be around her.


So many were touched by her life and she is still remembered and talked about to this day by everyone who knew her.

I have often wondered who’ll come to my funeral when my life here is over. Will those who do show up have good things to say or will their silence tell a different story?

I will have no chance to control what’s said when the time comes but I can do something about it while I’m still here by the way I choose to live my life.

Will I leave friends and family with good memories? I guess that’s up to me and the choices I make every day of my life.

I wonder if I’m making a enough contributions in the world to make even a small difference. Will anyone one other than those close to me miss me? Did I do anything worth remembering or being thankful that I was once alive? Am I making a difference through my work and through the the volunteer tasks I undertake?

I was saddened to read the following obituary for a lady who died earlier this month.

Dolores Aguilar
1929 - Aug. 7, 2008
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.


Is this sad or what to think someone could have been such a bitter sole that even her own children could write such a devastatingly horrible obituary about her.

It so horrible that I did check on snopes to make sure this was for real and not a joke.

So in keeping with yesterdays post here. Will you be remembered as bucket filler or a bucket dipper?

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6 comments:

Bethany said...

Wow, what a terribly sad obituary!

Tammy said...

That is so sad!

BK said...

You are right, we cannot control what others will be saying about us when I'll time is here. However, we can definitely control the way how we live our lives - living it to the fullest always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

I was so saddened by the bitterness of the obituary of the old lady. She may not be the best mother or grandmother in the world but she deserve dignity in her death. The person who placed that cruel obituary must be so full of bitterness and resentment in her heart. We must all learn to forgive and forget for we are all sinners and imperfect alike. As for you Tammy, you will be remembered for your kindness, gentleness and passion for life you have shown to everybody. You have already touched the lives of many. No cruel or negative epithets or obituaries for you when you leave the scene. Thanks for the post. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Melissa said...

That has to be the saddest and probably the ill-bred obit I have ever read! Even if she was a bitter old soul, I still would never disrespect my mother or whomever by writing such a low-minded obit. Still that is really sad.

Rene' Morris said...

I've planned to have goody bags at my funeral..so I hope everyone will come and have a good time! :-D It is sooo sad to read that obituary. :-( And I have to agree with those who said that the author of the obituary was very disrespectful. No matter what, you know, two wrongs and all...